Decoding Women's Mind

Here is a little joke and yet so damn true piece that a friend of mine emailed me today.

>> * 40-ish................................49.
>> * Adventurous...........................Slept with everyone.
>> * Athletic..............................No breasts.
>> * Average looking.......................Moooo.
>> * Beautiful.............................Pathological liar.
>> * Emotionally Secure....................On medication.
>> * Feminist..............................Fat.
>> * Free Spirit...........................Junkie.
>> * Friendship first......................Former Slut.
>> * New-Age...............................Body hair in the wrong places.
>> * Old-fashioned.........................No B.J.'s
>> * Open-minded...........................Desperate.
>> * Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
>> * Professional..........................Bitch.
>> * Voluptuous............................Very fat.
>> * Large frame...........................Hugely fat.
>> * Wants soul mate.......................Stalker.
>>
>> DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
>>
>> * Yes...................................No
>> * No....................................Yes
>> * Maybe.................................No
>> * We need...............................I want
>> * I am sorry............................You'll be sorry
>> * We need to talk.......................You're in trouble
>> * Sure, go ahead........................You better not
>> * Do what you want......................You will pay for this later
>> * I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
>> * You're attentive tonight..............Is sex all you ever think about?