I am in love! I don't really know if it's really love or not but I do know that I am overwhelmed with emotions when I am around this girl.
All this going out with girls, sarging and closing them is ultimately to find that 1 who blows you away. I went through many dates and it was all a game, like a chess game. They all respond the same and ultimately it was just for fun. Of course I never went out to hurt the girls and I never told them lies to make them sleep with me. I acted like an asshole but I wasn't an asshole if that makes any sense. Let's just say that if you're single than shit, be fucking amazing at being single.
Most guys don't understand women and no, I'm not saying that I'm a 'mister know it all' but I understand them more than others I've known. I have a degree in psychology, not that it really helped but it's a passion of mine to understand human behaviors.
Now saying that, there are still things that i can't understand, like love. Is it Chemistry imbalance? Is it getting what you finally wanted? Is it massive physical attraction? I can't understand it but I'm in it right now.
I have been with this 1 girl Meli for a whole week spending every night together. I have met her a year ago at a little bar but she had a boyfriend at the time so although she gave me her number, she was a good girl not to do anything with me. Yes, girls with boyfriends gives me their number from time to time. How can they not when my game is that tight:)
So 1 night she texts me a midnight and asks me to come over with a bottle of wine but she told me I had to behave. It was a fun sunday night. We laughed, joked and talked about deep things in life. We cuddles and went straight to bed, which was fucking hard in my part but still manageable.
First off, I'm not all about fucking. Quit being so typical and try to fuck all the time. There's too much risk just fucking around. Pregnancy, disease, emotional bullshit from the girls. I've come to a point where just knowing that I can have her gives me that mental satisfaction. As a matter of fact, last month, I was in bed with this beautiful tall blond with an amazing body but I told her last minute that I don't want to fuck her just yet, I wanted to get to know her a bit more to see what she's all about. Well, we still talk here and there but I can see nothing is gonna happen. There really wasn't any real spark anyways. Call me crazy but with this self confidence that I have, I want more about of a girl than just pussy rubbing my dick.
Haha, okay so back to Meli. So the next day, monday, comes around and I ask her what she's doing and she invites me over. I have spent the earlier hours looking at her myspace and found a poem that she wrote 3 years ago. She said she wanted to make it into a song oneday. Well I love my guitar and luckily I can sing so I make her poem into a song. It just came to me. I come over and I sing her the song. She tells me how much she loves my voice and how amazing the song was. Since it was really late by the time I get to her house we have a short conversation and we fall asleep again cuddling. I'm telling, yes I wanted her but Just having her in my arms was so amazing. You ever had a girl you had a crush so badly, you knew you liked her and yet you really don't know why. Meli is a 10. She's beautiful, fun, deep and just a good person.
Tuesday, I suggest we go to Pacific Beach bar and meet up with my couple friend. So four of us hang out, drinking each of us buying 4 ronds of shot each and just have a blast. We dance, joke and laugh all night. I would pull her to the dance floor and we would flirt and have this little role playing act while dancing. it was so cute and people were getting out of our way, making room for us to dance. Awesome.
Wednesday comes and I come over at night and get her ass to put some clothes on so i can take her to get some frozen yogurt at my uncles cool little cafe. We hang, mingle with my uncle and go back home and once again just sleep cuddling.
Thursday. I pick her up with my roomate Jess and we go to downtown to meet my homie Elji who drives us in his new mercedes:) He brings a girl he met last week to hang out with us. Shit the night was so fucking fun. We first go to this club called Minus 1 and meet up with my other homie and just mingle around. The place sucked. No one was dancing any the vibe was a bit stuck up for my taste. I recommend that we roll out and we head to Ivy. The line was not moving at all but luckily my homie knew the bouncer so we got in without waiting in line. This is the first time going to Ivy and when we walked in, the club looked a bit dead for the long ass line. Meli, walks us to the bottom floor and it is big and packed and everybody was dancing. The vibe was great but the alchol tab was ridiculously high. We all must've spent at least a 100 bucks. Our energy was so high. Meli was so great. She talked with all my friends and they all loved her. I played a little game with her. She leaves to the restroom and I go over to a blond nearby to start a conversation with her. When Meli comes back, she interrupts us without knowing, than my roommate as a joke calls her a cock block. She got all defensive and I loved it. I just walk away from the blond and I go to Meli to comfort her but she isn't having it. This energy got me to get real close to her and open up to her in the middle of a loud club and we start to bond and talk about our emotions. I thought it was great. Who does that at a club? However, the timing was great. I go home with her and we make out and get a little groovy. As I was about to go inside her, she tells me no. She says it twice so I get off and we just cuddled. I'm sure we could've had sex that night because we were both so in the mood but I really want our first night to be perfect. I'm not talking about dinner, candle lights and incense. I'm talking about a dim light so I can at least see. I'm talking about spending my time kissing her, licking and eating her than having a great sober but high in chemistry sex. I would hate for our first time to be a drunk sex although it would've still been great. that's just how much I like this girl.
I have been single for 3 years and have gone on many dates and there is nothing like this. I have felt this maybe when i was in high school, when I was in love for the first time. I didn't think it was possible to go through it again. I have been in great realtionships in the past that lasted for many years and yes, it was wonderful. Hanging out with Meli has been just 'perfect'.
Friday was great. We wake up together and go and get some asian breakfast. I take her home so she can work for couple hours while I run some errands. We meet up again and go to the beach. We just lied around talking about sex and life and she tells me she never had any guy she can open up like this. I don't get jealous and I am always curious to hear about other people's lives. We head home, take a nap together and I find a randome little steakhose, a hole in the wall with a piano player. It was so sweet. The steak was good and we get some wine. Meli wanted to give her business card to our waitress since Meli was a hair stylist (and a model) and our waitress had a cool hair cut. Meli gets shy and she decideds not to do it. I tell her,m this is the plan. I'm going to stike a conversation with her about her tattoo and Meli is going to tell her she has an awesome hair style and that she would love to work on it. The waitress comes by again and out plan works smoothly. Something small like that allowed us to sync in a same wave pattern you know what I mean? She could've not said anything because she was shy but she was a team mmeber and the plan was executed smoothly. That little event made us a team. I tease her and tell her she's Robin and I'm Batman and we can be a dynamic duo.
The whole time, we have fun together because the chemistry and the attraction is equal. I tease her and she teases back. Whatever I throw at her, she catches it well and throws it right back. She can keep up with me and plus more.
You know what makes me like her the most? The person I become when I am with her. I am confident. I am very social. I look at life in the most positive way. I even stopped smoking because she doesn't like it. I don't like it anymore and really couldn't care for it. I actually finished a song that she wrote and have a friend who's a music producer who told me he will produce it for me. I have always wanted to make at least 1 song and have never been inspired to do so and now it's happening. Did I also mention she is fucking beautiful? She kinda looks like Kate Beckinsale but sexier. Shit, I'm a lucky ass bastard.
I deserve it though:) I am so curious what's going to happen. I don't know and I don't want to try to make anything happen. We've been going with the flow and it's been fucking amazing....to be continued.
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